The Vacation; or, Why Can’t I Visit People Without Him?

20 Apr

So what has become very interesting are the amount of people who think I shouldn’t leave town anymore.  This is TOTALLY new to me.  Even good friends suddenly say, “But you have a HUSBAND” (not yet), “You can’t LEAVE him!”

First of all, the love and light of my life is NOT FOUR.  Amazingly, I have never had to wipe his ass, he can feed and shower, he can even dress himself!  Once he did lock his keys in his car, but he is pretty mobile.  I would even venture to say that without me there, he gets more done.  I have always been restless.  Always, and always a traveler, adventurous…but an engagement ring on my finger means I now have to stay home?   WTF?

I like to travel by myself.  Always have.  Yes, I have traveled with other people before, but I prefer to be on my own.  Quiets my head.  I have traveled a lot.  Been everywhere…I kind of have it down pat.  Know how to pack, know how to navigate a country where the language is far beyond me…I just have it down.  This is not to say that I can’t travel with him, but the only two people I really ever traveled well with were my brother and my dad.  When my brother and I traveled, we just sort of co-existed, did our own things and he really respected my travel abilities and ideas (unlike my sisters, who love me, but for whom I will perpetually be 16).  With my dad, he was just along for the ride.  I planned the whole thing, got the tickets.  We had the BEST time.  Not any of my close friends have been as easy to travel with.  And while he likes to see things, travel just isn’t entirely his thing.  Getting on a long haul flight to be in a place with possibly no internet connection?  He works every day, even on weekends from home.  This is fine.  I travel, he stays home.  Has he gone places with me?  Yes.  Will he go every place?  No.

I am headed to Argentina to see the total solar eclipse for my birthday, since it will occur on my birthday.  I was told by a friend that now I have to stay home for my birthday.  It should be celebrated at home with my man.  Um…WHY?  My birthday is during the summer, since I was a kid I have been in Israel for my birthday.  When I got old enough to be an indentured archaeological servant for my parents, and my birthday fell on weekdays, there would be a knock on my door at 4am, a “Happy Birthday!” from my dad, and I would roll out of bed, haul on clothes and stumble out to the dig site.  I want to spend my birthdays how I want to spend them.  Last year it was a dinner in Jaffa, Israel with my parents, sister and baby nephew.  No gifts.  Just a cake and meal.  That’s fine.  I don’t go in for celebrations.

Look, I am not trying to NOT travel with my man, I just don’t get why, now that I am about to be married, we have to do EVERYTHING together.  I am pretty sure that one of the main things he appreciates about me is my independence (maybe he’ll throw a comment on the blog and confirm or deny).  He knew getting in that I travel.  A lot.  And my job sometimes takes me out of town.  It just IS.  But if HE had to go out of town, do a lot of traveling, I guarantee that no one would say anything to me.

What am I learning being engaged?  The world is far more sexist than I thought…but screw it, I am going to Argentina ANYWAY.  😛


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