Let’s talk about the Wedding Industrial Complex. Not this one, though, although the music is solid. Let us speak of THIS Wedding Industrial Complex. Not only has the WIC gotten out of control, as Sara discovered, but it also allows the bride to do Whatever. She. Wants.
Since starting this blog, people have been saying to me, over and over, “This is YOUR wedding, do what YOU want” and while I believe that to be true, it does not give me the right to abuse, scream or throw a tantrum.
Weddings are a celebration of a very special time for a couple. Imagine this isn’t 2010 America and people aren’t getting divorced right and left. Imagine there is a couple, who fell in love for the and decided to spend the rest of their lives together. They then decided to also invite family and friends. They will stand in front of these people and vow to love each other forever. They will vow to forgive when the going gets tough, hold the head when there is puking over the toilet. They will vow to clean up dirty dishes and do laundry, have picnics and watch stupid movies. They will fight and shout and fall in love all over again. They will not always like each other and two seconds later they will not be able to keep their hands off each other. They will have private jokes, and silly phrases. Sometimes life will be a breeze, other times they will max out credit cards. This is a life together. They stand in front of people and VOW to share this life…
and we turn it into an A&E show.
That is my first issue with being a Bridezilla and the WIC. This day, this sweet, IMPERFECT day with family and friends becomes…what? A chance to show off how much money you have? An opportunity to throw a better party than your friend?
My second major issue with Bridezillas is this:
Being a bride planning a wedding does NOT give you carte blanche to be a cunt. End. Of. Story. Plenty of other brides manage to do it without screaming and crying. You do NOT get to abuse your bridesmaids, you do NOT get to scream at your mother or maid-of-honor and you do NOT get to be a bitch to your fiance. PERIOD.
If you are doing this, you have lost sight of why you are there in the first place, and I would venture to say, you are one of the stats heading for a divorce.
Do you get to be cranky? Sure. Planning a wedding is like event planning on crack. Do you get to vent your frustration? Absolutely. But WHEN do you get to stop being an adult? YOU DON’T.
This is a great article on avoiding the WIC, but no one seems to have written an article called, “You’re a Bride, not a Bitch”. Oh wait, I am.
I know, there are a lot of personalities to appease for many of you. I get that. Sit everyone down, sit them down early and have a CONVERSATION. What ever happened to talking? What ever happened to having a plan, and not just screaming and throwing shit?
I know, none of us want to think of other people on OUR day, but let’s give this a try, shall we? Mom and dad are probably a little sad. Maybe mom is acting out because she doesn’t know how to tell you she loves you, you mean the world to her and she misses you. Groom’s parents giving you trouble? Include them more. Often men have NO say in the wedding…lend a ear, try to work them in. You’re going to be a family soon. Ask your maid-of-honor to field some stress for you. Delegate a little. Listen and respond accordingly. Don’t fly off the handle and assume people are trying to ruin your day…they’re concerned. They want to help. Don’t treat your bridesmaids like your personal servants. They’re not. You should know their strengths, so ask them for a little help based on what they do best.
Finally, unless someone murders your fiance, really, nothing gives you the right to be an all out bitch. Sorry. Suck it up. Be a human being. You might find your vendors and family are a little more sensitive.
Have a good weekend!