Uninviting the Self Invited

1 Jun

Gonna be honest, don’t know HOW to deal with this one.  I can usually get away with saying, “Well, we’ll have a small ceremony in NYC and a large reception in Florida” except we don’t want to have a large CATERED reception in Florida.  Just cake and punch…for 300+ people.


My parents have large communities.  They have been members of their church for nearly 40 years.  My father has been a professor for over 40.  We have been digging for over 20, so hundreds of people have come in and out of my life.  If we invited everyone we had any kind of small connection with…the list would be well over 500.  I am not sure that would even be MY friends!  I probably have addressed this before, but, as I am sure you can imagine, it keeps reappearing.  It makes sense to invite all NYC based people to the wedding in NYC, except a number of those people belong in the Florida reception category: that is, people I am not super close with, but who have, in the past, played a rather large part in my life.  If I haven’t laid eyes on you in over a year, it is probable you would be invited only to the Florida reception.  We could up the invite list, but our space only seats 190 and we don’t want that many people anyway.  My mother said, “Well there are just some people you are going to HAVE to invite” and I said, “No, I sure don’t” but DAMNIT she might be right.

I don’t know.  This will be an ongoing issue I am sure.  We may even trim our list again, depending on who we lost touch with, there are just so many people already who think they are certainly on the guest list.  Ugh.

This is my constant worry.  Unlike my mother, I am not a pleaser.  There is a part of me, however, that doesn’t want to make old family friends sad.  But old family friends are not necessarily MY friends.

This is me wanting to elope again.


One Response to “Uninviting the Self Invited”

  1. Darby Brooks June 1, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

    no she's not right. it's your wedding. not your moms.

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