Damnit, even Israel wasn’t THIS hot. Well, two days were, possibly.
Here we are. Back again. A momentous-ish decision was made while I was gone. No eloping. For those of you who read this, you know I want to elope, but Jonathan does not. I want to elope for a few reasons: 1) money and 2) my mother.
While I was in Israel, everyone was asking about the wedding. I had this girl on my team who wanted every detail we had planned. There were 4 girls in their early 20s. One had been married for a few seconds (year, maybe?), another was engaged and another was in a very long-term relationship headed towards marriage. The fourth had a boyfriend. As a result, I seemed to constantly be talking about my wedding. I mean, DANG, the whole reason I have a blog is so I never have to talk about my wedding! I will admit, it was kind of fun to see the looks on my dad and brother’s faces as they realized what they might be in for. HAHA!
But, of course, often my mother overheard. She doesn’t seem to care much…wait, that is a lie. She cares a LOT, but she is pretty good about backing off…except the guest list. Well, we didn’t win $10,000 so we’re not suddenly expanding the guest list. While I was there, I had a mini breakdown and wrote my sister about eloping. Here is her sage advice:
“Well, I know Mom can be a pain in the butt about weddings. But
although I think the idea of eloping sounds like fun (for you), I
think it’s also just avoiding the issue. Doesn’t Jonathan want a
wedding? It’s hard, but you may have to have a serious, calm
conversation with Mom. You don’t have to be confrontational, but you
might tell her that she is really stressing you out and ask her to let
you have your wedding your own way. Save the threat of elopement for
now, as she’ll probably take it for hyperbole.
…Of course it makes me sad too to think of not seeing you get
married, and missing an opportunity for us all to get together and
celebrate, but you certainly shouldn’t base your decision on that. You
and Jonathan should do what the TWO OF YOU want to do. It’s YOUR
union, your sacred day to celebrate your commitment to each other. Do
what you want with it!”
She is right. I can cope with the money thing, I really can. Elopement for me has now become a run and hide scenario. And I think my mother would be truly hurt if I didn’t try to talk to her. She and I do have a pretty good relationship. Luckily, she also owes me a LIFETIME of favors for this summer…LIFETIME. I mean, seriously, we are now more than even on the whole giving birth/carry me for 9 months thing. Not kidding.
So, while this is not entirely an end to my dreaming about elopement (most of it really just involves elaborate destination weddings and such), this is an end to it being a reality. I am simply going to have to have that conversation, whatever it is with my mother. I may even let her tack people on to the guest list, at a cost to her of $100 per person (it costs us $40 – yeah, I’ll charge her more, sure will).