I did. I made the mistake and now this may be a big problem.
Jonathan and I seriously reduced our guest list for financial reasons. There was only one couple my mother though might be offended if she invited them, so I told her just this once she could pay for them to show (we get up to a certain amount of people included in our cost and everyone over that count is $50 extra). I like them enough, but I am not close to them. Easy to just do it though.
Now she has realized that she can just add people if she pays. Not REALLY, but this is what she thinks. This is a problem for a lot of reasons:
a) the reason the wedding is NOT in Fl, is to be able to have a small one with our friends, not every person who has ever known my mother and father…like 500 people in Tampa, b) she can pay for additional people, but we can’t, so Jonathan had to cut his list to fit and now, suddenly, I can have whomever I want! (sort of).
It is really unfair to Jonathan and, of course, the people my mother wants to invite were never on the list. A few days ago she wrote and told me that someone wanted to come, someone I had neither seen nor spoken to in 15 years, but that she would pay for her to come and it would be fine, the last person, she swears and wouldn’t it be nice?
Shit shit SHIT.
I like said person. I do, but I had to cut some REALLY good friends whom I haven’t seen in FIVE years…adding someone I don’t talk to and haven’t seen in FIFTEEN years seems…well..unfitting. This person will probably not be offended. I certainly hope she will not and I really don’t think she will…my mother…my mother has not responded to my email where I told her NO.
I don’t think she realizes the ridiculous stress this creates for me, and I certainly have to tell her now. I can FEEL my blood pressure skyrocket…and I only need the BAREST of excuses to cancel and elope. It don’t take much, ya know?
So…anyway. Here’s to hoping the email I get is not (and this is WELL within my mother’s personality): “Well I told her already so you’ll just have to invite her” and I will say, “No, I don’t. YOU invited her to something you had no BUSINESS inviting her to and YOU have to UNINVITE HER” to which she MIGHT reply (not kidding…god I wish I were kidding) “I am NOT going to uninvite her. I will just tell her where and when the wedding is.”
At which point I will either have to actually BAR MY MOTHER FROM MY WEDDING or…change it to a secret location.