Pre-marital Counseling

31 Jan

We have been asked, by our minister (really MY minister since Jonathan doesn’t know him) to do some pre-marital counseling.  Jonathan said, “She gonna be amazed how well we communicate!”

This is true.  I mean, she may not be amazed, but we do communicate really well.  Once, early on, we went to bed angry.  I didn’t sleep well, and that is saying a lot since I am a champion sleeper.  If sleeping were an Olympic Sport, I could bring home the Gold solely on my ability to fall asleep in under 3 minutes.  Since then, we try to not go to bed angry, even if we’re both really pissed.  Of course, Jonathan is never the one who is really pissed, he leaves that job to me.

I tell him everything.  Everything.  Every little iota of how I am feeling.  Nothing makes it under the rug.  I complain when he acts like my dad or one of my in-laws (people I love…some…but certainly people I would never want to be married to).  He has few complaints (I seriously have no idea WHY or HOW), and when he does I do hear him

Pre-marital counseling terrifies me.  Like suddenly we’re going to find out we are awful for each other, or we hate each other, or something else.  Irrational, I know, but truthful.  And, no, it is not because I have something to hide.  Like I said, he knows it all.  He knows exactly how I feel about his family and his friends.  He knows the people in his life I like and those on my avoidance list.  He knows how much I love him and what I love about him, and he knows what makes me insane.

Every “fight” of ours lasts under 30 minutes, no joke, and we move on.

Still scared.

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