Reflections and Musings

6 May

Here we are, one week (well, just under) from the wedding and one week (just over) until our reception in Florida.

On Friday, the night before, I said to Jonathan, “I just want it to be worth it.  I want the stress and frustration to be worth it” and was it?  Was it worth the panic attacks, the sobbing, the fights and stress and hyperventilating?

I don’t know.  I honestly don’t.

Last week we had some fairly awesome disasters, I mean AWESOME disasters.  There was the minister who was rejected to be licensed and did not get it resolved until the DAY BEFORE the wedding.  There were the storms in the South which prevented my brother and minister from getting in on time (my brother was 2 days late, the minister one) which resulted in us pushing the rehearsal dinner back.  Oh, and speaking of, Jonathan’s clutch failed the night of the rehearsal dinner and we were stranded in the West Village and we were almost two hours late.  There was an important document which I was supposed to fax for my parents on Wed, which was ANOTHER disaster day, which failed to fax and then which I told my mother it failed but we failed to send it.  So my parents may not have refinanced their home.

Did I mention Wednesday?  When my sister and her family had a very late plane, when dinner with Jonathan’s parents was two hours late and Jonathan was at the end of his rope?

Did I have fun at my wedding?  Yes.  Am I immensely grateful, especially to my Tampa friends, that people made it?  Yes.  Was it worth the stress a YEAR of stress?

I don’t know.  The day itself was beautiful, the weather was amazing.  Our phenomenal friend, Heather, and the woman I hired to stage manage, Laura, were at the venue, making everything go well.  I had to do nothing; Jonathan was free to stress or not stress, however he wished to spend his time.  My dress was gorgeous, my bouquet (thanks Amanda!) was spectacular.  The minister was short, but eloquent.  My hair was fun, I ate and drank a lot of water, so I did not feel light headed or deprived.  Jonathan and I were able to take some moments alone – it was such a lovely, relaxed day.

It will probably be some time before I can really evaluate, which is to be expected.  In the meantime, I will see the doctor for my chronic cough which I developed a week before the wedding.


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