Things are so calm. I mean, SO CALM. This is due to the fact that we are done, DONE with weddings and receptions and parties. Now I can go back to my utterly boring life. Well, except I have to plan for grad school.
Being married does not feel remotely different. Part of it is that we lived together beforehand, but here is my take on why it feels the same (and, therefore, a little anti-climactic). I never would have moved in with Jonathan if I wasn’t sure I was going to marry him. Yes, statistically couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate because they are using it as a “trial period” and I certainly know more than my fair share of couples whom I, sadly, think will be divorced a few years after their weddings. And they do live together. I was never “trying” anything with Jonathan, for a few reasons:
1) my parents are pretty conservative about it, and, believe me, I was not about to take all the shit I had to take if I wasn’t going to marry him. We moved in sooner than we had planned, but I always knew it was going to be a fight EVERY DAY with my mother, and the only reason to endure that was to eventually marry him. We were never allowed to stay in the same room when we were at her house, we were watched and guarded, we heard, countless times, “Just let your father perform the ceremony” (his is an ordained Minister). So I was not about to go through that irritating gauntlet for naught.
2) I do not share. Space. I do not share my things or space. No, I am not an only child, I am a PARTICULAR one. I like things a certain way. I travel a lot so I like my space the way I like my space, usually with no one in it but my cats. I like my quiet house, I like my own kitchen and bathroom, I DO NOT SHARE SPACE. I was not about to move in with someone if I wasn’t DAMN sure it would work out considering how inflexible I am about my living space.
So take that, add to it the fact that I have not, and will not, change my last name, the fact that we have been on the same insurance for over a year, the fact that I make some of his medical appointments, we have a joint bank account, etc…and marriage feels a lot like it did before.
Jonathan says that’s a good thing.
I say it’s a thing. It’s a little anticlimactic after all the crap I went through. It went fast and furious and now it is done.
Oh, wait, one thing is different (aside from the obvious)…I now have dental and vision.