I Am My Own Worst Enemy

9 Nov

There’s not much to it.  I am.  I worry so much, I stress so much, that I got sick.  Really sick.  I haven’t been sick since Jonathan and I started dating.  He was my own personal immune system addition.  Well, ok, there was the one time I got bronchitis, but that was me letting my allergies go unchecked.  Aside from allergies and the occasional poor choice in food, I have not been sick with a real virus, one you get from other people, since we started dating.

When I got sick I asked him where his magic went.  Two words from him, “Grad School.”

Ugh.

It’s true.  I stress WAY more about grad school than it deserves.  I am highly organized, I do all my reading, my paper was one three days before it was due.  But I also worry about work.  I worked in such hostile environments for so long (or if they weren’t hostile, they were SUPER stressful) that I worry about my job ALL THE TIME.  I spend a lot of time thinking I am going to get fired.  I have NO IDEA why they would fire me; I’m damn good at my job and I am not a crook.  I still worry.

Anyway, I worried myself into the worst head cold I have had in three years.  It still lingers.  My professors were so understanding I thought for sure they were joking (I was told NOT to come to class and to get better).  I still have 4 weeks to write 2 huge papers (if I write 4 pages a weekend (per paper) I am golden).

I told Jonathan all of this today.  He said, “How are you going to do it?” (as in, not stress about work, at the very least).

“I don’t know, but I have to”

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One Response to “I Am My Own Worst Enemy”

  1. Shauna Maldonado November 9, 2011 at 1:54 am #

    PS. Should you be blogging right now? Rest Joanna! LOL 😉

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