Vulcan Mind Meld – PS It Works

26 Nov

Me: Did you paint your toenails? (Jonathan has a toenail fungus)

Jonathan: Yes.  No.  I don’t remember.  [pause] What the hell are you doing?

Me: The vulcan mind meld to help you remember, or at least extract the memories.

Jonathan: That doesn’t actually work.

Me: Yes it does.

Jonathan: No it doesn’t.  Star Trek was fiction.

Me: It DOES work because I just found out you DIDN’T paint your toenais

Jonathan: So now you just make shit up?

Me: It totally works. Look, I’ll do it on Stewart and ask him to stop putting his paw on my face [mind meld with Stewart]  See!  It worked!  He stopped doing it!

Jonathan: You are completely insane. [pause] Oh for fucks sake, NOW what are you doing?

Me: I just put an idea in your head

Jonathan: Even with TWO hands the VULCAN MIND MELD DOES NOT WORK.  What did you try to put into my head?

Me: If I told you what I put there, we couldn’t see if it was going to work.

Jonathan: [facepalm]

Me: Let’s talk about something else and then you will do the idea I put in your subconcious

Jonathan kisses me.

Me: THAT’S IT!  THAT’S WHAT I TOLD YOUTO DO!  IT WORKS!

Jonathan: We were in bed, it was pretty likely at some point I was going to kiss you and then go to sleep

Me: But I told you to do it NOW!  It works!

Jonathan: You are completely and utterly insane.

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